S: “Why are you sad, Mom?”
M: “I’m not sad.”
S: “You look sad.”
M: “I’m just thinking about how I should get in better shape. I don’t run around all the time like you do.”
S: “Like a rectangle?”
M: “… No. Like… person-shaped.”
S: “But you are person-shaped.”
M: “… True. You’re… right.”
S: “Silly Mom.”

“It’s ‘S’, like that spells in my name.”

Hold still, please.

Yes. Yes, Alastair. But where’s my beer?

Give me the camera. It’s my turn.

Awesome birthday, Katie. Are they going to set the princesses on fire?

It is I, Pajama Pirate, and my homemade fleecy turtle.

No picture today.

Sarah’s take on Mom’s un/self-employment:

“Mom stays home all day… so she doesn’t get lost.”

At dinner:

Sarah: Why is there foil on the pizza, Daddy?
Dad: To keep it warm, sweetie.
Sarah: Why?
Dad: ‘Cause of thermodynamics and stuff.
Sarah: Why?
Dad: ‘Cause of those guys who came after Newton.
Sarah: …
Sarah: Why were they chasing him?
Dad: He shot a man in Reno.
Sarah: Mom, why are you laughing? It’s not funny!